It ain’t even happened yet

by Zachariah Lanza

It ain’t even happened yet
But I’m already stressed
Feel my chest pounding
I need a cigarette
Looking at this girl frowning
Is what she’s saying in jest?
Should have strapped
What a twat
I know you want it
And you know I don’t
It’s too early
This is a joke
You think it’s about money
It’s really about morals
Can’t bring in life without quarrels

What a day what a day

Things looking up
Now it’s gone down
Feel like drowning
Don’t want anybody around
Stomachs churning
Need to release
Please take them I said
Why would you want it?
You can’t support it
It’s my duty to fund this
No parents or siblings
This is going to cause problems
Only problems only problems

Lots of stuff ahead of me
This is a road block that won’t stop
I pray to my god to make this stop
My fault
Can’t solve it
Her decision
Can’t change it
Your life is fucked
I’ll just go with it

Few hours later she calls me
I’m sorry for being stupid
That’s ok but when I say this I don’t kid
Play again and I’ll end this

Feel on top of the world
Like I’ve dropped two
Wanna just see you
Go up and down too often
Hate it when I’m rock bottom
Rapid cycle bi polar
Aunty Danny
Sometimes they can’t control her

Three days later she texts me
Those pills didn’t work
You don’t believe me?
The process you want killed my mummy
I said it’s your decision so why you asking me?
Only thing I’m worried about is HIV
She’s getting rid of it now
End of story


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